I'm doing the whole Buddhist ethics thing for a lot of reasons, but probably the main one is that I can be one mother of a judgmental person.  Now, in partial defense of myself, as a human of course I'm judgmental.  I mean, that's how we get through the world, right?  We make judgments.  Yes, I need to eat.  No, I will not eat that.  Hm, I think that sheet of ice looks dangerous.  And so on. 

But this isn't the sort of judgmentalism I mean, and it's not the sort that most people mean when they say "don't be so judgmental."  The relevant sort of judgmentalism, of which I am attempting to break myself (at least a bit), is the sort that lets me go on little mini-tears in my head about how stupid/incomprehensible/insensitive/worthless/etc. other people are, usually because they are not conforming to my preferences.  And since I'm delightfully good at holding grudges, I can actually manage to get mad at other people and then hold on to my anger for hours--even days--for no obvious good reason.  Yes, I actually get angry at other people for not behaving the way I want them to, despite the fact that, almost always, I have no idea why they are acting that way (and more often than not, I've found that people usually do have a good reason for their behaviour--when I bother to find out what it is, as if it's even any of my business to start with).  I've already been working pretty hard on the "learning to keep my mouth shut" aspect of Buddhism, but that doesn't short-cut the diatribe in my skull.  So while I might not actually be pissing off others with my judgmentalism, I'm still driving up my own blood pressure, and for what?  No reason that I can see.

And so today I got an object lesson in everything that's wrong with this way of being in the world.  I walked out to the parking lot after work and passed a car that was waaaaaay over the parking space line--it looked like the classic "I'll use two parking spaces so that no one will damage my car."  I grumbled to myself about this; I believe I actually thought something like "Gee, are you being a professional asshole, or is this just practice?"  Yeah, real witty--my self-righteousness knows no bounds.  Then I saw another car way over the line, and I got confused.  And then another, and I realized, OH, that's right, the parking lot was probably covered in snow this morning and no one could even see the lines.  So I got all fumey-mad at someone I didn't know, for no reason, that turned out to be entirely unjustified, and frankly wouldn't have mattered a damned even if they had been acting like an asshole.  Eesh.  I felt like a tool.

Then I noticed that my own car was also over a foot outside the parking lines.

My new mantra, which I now repeat to myself multiple times a day (usually to try and diffuse an impending self-righteous internal rant):  people have reasons for their behaviour, and I don't know what they are.  Sooner or later, maybe this lesson will sink in? 

So it's a new year, and I'm now trying to get back to regular business.  I'm not typically one for making resolutions, but I've decided on a sort of new years project, for lack of a better term.  In December, I taught Buddhism in our UU Religious Education classes.  Each Sunday we talked about a different aspect of Buddhism, but we spent a lot of time discussing the 8-fold path, what it is, how it works, etc.  I couldn't help but notice how, well, sane a path it is.  Like most religions, Buddhism has a code of conduct/ethical behaviour--the 8 fold path in this case.  It functions a lot like the 5 pillars in Islam, or the 10 Commandments in Christianity.  The 8 fold path really speaks to me, though, in a way that most other religio-ethical systems don't.  It has a nice balance between general principles and specific actions (not being too specific, like the 10 Commandments, or too general, like the Wiccan Rede), it can be followed reasonably by anyone who finds value in them (unlike the 5 pillars of Islam, which just don't make sense to follow if you're not a Muslim).  And whether or not I actually am a Buddhist (and I've always been just a bit "Buddish", as George Lucas says), I agree with the path.  I like the kind of actions encouraged by the path; I like the sort of ethical person one becomes by adhering to the path.  I'm really not a Buddhist for a number of specific reasons, not the least of which being I'm not currently striving to break myself (or others) out of the cycle of death and rebirth.  That's maybe a project for another lifetime.  Maybe I'll be a Buddist in a future life.  Right now, I'll work on being a good person, and the 8 fold path looks like the best road for me.

So, for those who are unfamiliar with the 8 fold path, here's a really oversimplified version of it.  This is actually the schema I used for my RE kids; but each part is deep--I think I will be doing much work to more fully understand each of them, and of course a full understanding of the 8 fold path is the work of lifetimes.  But I think this is a good starting point.  (BTW, it helps that my husband is in Phil. of Religion with a Buddhism emphasis.)  The 8 fold path is divided into three sections, Wisdom, Ethical Conduct, and Mental Development:

Wisdom

• Right View:  this is the willingness to see things as they really are
• Rigth Intention:  meaning to do the right thing, even if it doesn't work out.  And, not trivially, trying to figure out what the right thing is to do.

Ethical Conduct

• Right Speech:  (1)  tell the truth; (2) speak friendly, warmly, and gently; (3) only speak when necessary
• Right Action:  (1)  do not harm others; (2) act compassionately; (3) respect other's belongings; (4) keep sexual relationships harmless to others
• Right Livelihood:  You should earn your living in a peaceful and lawful way--(1) no selling weapons, (2) no meat production or butchering, (3) no dealing in living beings,(4) no selling drugs and alcohol

Mental Development

• Right Effort:  You must put your energy into good ways to act, not bad ways.  One should be active in abandoning bad actions, and active in doing good actions (note that this is not the same as habitual actions--the emphasis here is on conscious action)
• Right Mindfulness:  learn to be persistently attentive to one's mind and actions.  Do not act improperly due to inattentiveness or incautiousness
• Right Concentration: using the practice of samadhi (meditation?) to bring one's mental awareness to understanding the true dharma, or being, of things (this works in conjunction with right view).  

I don't know, maybe it's just me, but this all just seems like such a sane way to live.  Hard, no doubt.  But it's just so right.  So I'll start working on this; and since I've now told the entire LJ community about it, maybe I'll stick with it?  (Hm, one suspects that "speaking only when necessary" might be one of my problems.)